


Detective Doughnut

by Hungry_AloeLeaf



Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Basically, Food, Food is People, Hare and Kestrel are Brothers here, Jayfeather is technically TECHNICALLY there, M/M, RIP Jay, This Is STUPID, Was not expecting THAT tag, are back with a vengence, back to my awful JayKestrel roots, believe it or not it was worse, but i love it, but not for long, dumb midnight decisions, he will always be with kestrel, i have a tiny problem, i need to make a caking choice, more with a "v", seriously i remember when i was doing this i was laughing my face off, so i'm posting it again, villian!Rock, why have i been debating Jay's accent for YEARS now, years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 08:00:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27639926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hungry_AloeLeaf/pseuds/Hungry_AloeLeaf
Summary: (edited version)Jayfeather was only minding his own business and Kestrelflight's just hankering for a snack.It wasn't supposed to happen! But it did... becausew-well you have to read to find out why i guess cause i sure don't have a clue-
Relationships: Jayfeather/Kestrelflight (Warriors)
Kudos: 7





	Detective Doughnut

“Put me down!”

Kestrelflight blinked. _Where had the little voice come from?_ He glanced about in confusion before looking down at the doughnut in his hand. The tall teen shrugged it off as something Heathertail was probably playing with her dolls in the other room, and raised the doughnut to his lips again.

“I KNOW YOU HEARD ME! PUT ME DOWN!”

Kestrelflight now squinted confusedly at the chocolate cake doughnut. He rotated it in his fingers curiously. His fingers nearly lost their grip on the crispy icing when a pair of cartoonish blue eyes appeared from the treat.

“It’s alive…?” He murmured in awe, inspecting the dessert thoroughly now.

“Yeah, ‘ _it’s alive’,_ Fool! And you almost bit my behind off!” The blue eyes narrowed furiously.

He… he could sort of recognize the voice. It was somewhat familiar, despite squeakier. Kestrelflight's lime green eyes widened in shock.

“ _JAY?_ ”

“Ta-damn-da, Detective Jack-in-the-box. You the most observant fool in the world!”

“Oh…” Kestrelflight paused. “Are you mad because I almost ate you?”

“WHAT THE FROZEN FRENCH TOAST FUDGE STICKS DO YOU THINK?! I was just minding my own business, then you had to try to eat me! Boy, if I had the legs, they would be way up your skinny behind, I’ll tell you that right now!” Jayfeather could only narrow his eyes further, squinting at his friend. “AND ON TOP OF THAT, you almost bit my behind! I ain’t just gonna sit here and let that fly!”

The tall teen raised a brow, a hand shifting to his hip.

“What else are you gonna do, boo?”

The little chocolate cake doughnut was at a loss for words, glancing down at the wood floor. He couldn’t quite do anything, could he?

“Listen,” Kestrelflight’s deep voice was soft and smooth. “This isn’t personal, Jay-Jay. I just want my favorite doughnut out of the bunch… and that flavor happens to be you.”

“I still don’t want nobody to eat me!” The treat said, a tremor in his squeaky voice.

“I know. But…” The human paused. “Well, you look real fine. You got icing dripping down your sides and it looks so good.”

“…Well, resist my tempting qualities, boy!”

“ ‘Fraid I can’t.” Kestrelflight tilted the little doughnut over his tongue, not appearing particularly vexed about consuming his best-friend-turned-baked-good.

“ _KESTREL_ -”

Kestrelflight quickly shoved Jayfeather in his mouth, suckling on the sweet crispy exterior with a little hum of contentment. _Stars_ , that tasted so good. He looked over at the rest of the little doughnuts in the box. They had all gained eyes, and were worriedly watching his hand as it hovered over the box.

“Maybe,” Kestrelflight muttered once he swallowed. “I shouldn’t have bought these from Rock.” He closed the box and picked it up, a little grin flickering over his plump lips. “Oh, Harespring… I got you something…”

**Author's Note:**

> think it's safe to say that Kestrel can still be such a brat of a little brother
> 
> I want to make a series out of this  
> the human!Warriors being food  
> or i might just delete this sheetcake again


End file.
